Las Vegas 

        They are both legends, forever famous, and each with demons that have significantly disrupted their lives. I spent the day today, like so many, with controlled images of Tiger Woods; and I spent tonight surrounded by the music and very controlled images of Elvis Presley.

       I don’t think it is a complete coincidence that as I watched the mostly upbeat and entertaining “Viva Elvis” from the Cirque Du Soleil people here in Las Vegas tonight, I kept thinking about Tiger Wood’s remarks earlier in the day.

    “I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to,”  was part and parcel of Tiger’s confession. It seems Elvis Presley lived much the same way, but at least initially in a more innocent way.

    “I thought I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy the temptations around me,” said Tiger.  By virtue of the film clips seen in “Viva Elvis,” my guess is that Elvis certainly enjoyed his temptations too.

    “My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never have before,” said Tiger clearly in the midst of deep therapeutic treatment to try and change his ways. And maybe this is where the similarities end. My sense is that Elvis never really did look at himself, and as he descended into a variety of personal abuses, there was no one around to tell him, to catch him, and make him turn his life around. As you may recall, Elvis Presley died when he was 42 years old. An autopsy revealed that he had 10 different prescription drugs in his system in enormous quantities.

    Elvis Presley, in death, is now a packaged and very profitable commodity. But, to not overstate the obvious, he is dead. Tiger Woods may have made the first steps today to crawl out of an extraordinary hole, and presumable when he turns 42, Woods will be alive and healthy and hopefully with an in-tact family life.

   The world’s of press and publicity have been completely different for Tiger and for Elvis, and while I think much of the media coverage today has been excessive, at least the press did not look the other way, when all of Tiger’s demons surfaced to the forefront. For Elvis, the press did look the other way, until it was too late. 

   Here’s hoping that for Tiger himself, and all those he has harmed and hurt; the ultimate outcome will be better than the fate of Elvis. Maybe they won’t be so similar after all.

        By all accounts, this was a wonderful Super Bowl. The statistic favored the Colts, the story favored the Saints; and when push comes to shove I'll pick an emotional story over cold hard statistic anytime. (I picked the Colts on the air to win, because my greed occasionally overwhelms my own good sense),. Still, the biggest surprise, the most effective "sneak" of all, however was not on the field, but rather in a very quick and very funny TV spot featuring three unlikely co-stars; David Letterman, Oprah Winfrey and Jay Leno. In a moment, I'll provide you the link that will tell you the details surrounding the making-of the commercial. But first, here is why I am, more or less, responsible for the whole thing.

      Here is something that you and I understand, that TV executives, people who run TV stations and those who run networks have never understood; audiences do NOT care about channels or networks or any other kind of designation. The KTLA Morning News is popular NOT because it is on KTLA, but rather because of the people who work on the show, on the air and behind the scenes. If our show was on channel 5, or 45, or 405, it really wouldn't matter much. 

     When we first started our show, I had the then bold idea to actually, OMG, talk about other stations on our air. On channel 5, I would talk about the news on channel 4. For a long time we presented our Paul Moyer quote of the week, a very popular feature. Very early on, something that would never be "allowed," I actually did my portion of the show from the brand new set at KCAL channel 9. Hilarious, if I do say so myself.

      There has long been a paranoia in TV circles that if we talk about another station or another show on on another station we are driving our audience to that other show or that other station. Well guess what, you are going to watch "American Idol" on channel 11 anyway, doesn't matter if I talk about it on channel 5 or not. I know it, you know it, and after pounding it into the heads of suits for years, they finally realize it too.

      So, having opened the door for the cross-pollination between competing TV entities, let me offer another bold suggestion. This time to my pals at CBS. If I were you, I would not only allow Neil Patrick Harris to replace Simon Cowell on "American Idol," I would encourage it. CBS has the contract on Neil for his work on "How I Met Your Mother," and so it would be impossible for him to take a permanent job on 'Idol,' unless CBS said it would be okay. They won't and they should. It would make him an even bigger star. Sure it would help a rival show on Fox, but it would also help Neil's own sitcom too...a lot.

     Clearly, both CBS and NBC executives had to give permission and did allow an NBC star and rival Jay Leno to be featured in a spot promoting David Letterman. Finally executives doing the right thing. And just think, it was only, well, nearly 20 years ago that I helped open the door to all of it.

    Here's the story behind the ad;

KTLA's Sam Rubin inspires Dave,Oprah and Jay Ad

    Did you see the ad? What did you think?

    I am spoiled, especially when it comes to travel. In the last two years my work related trips have included, London, Bora-Bora, New Zealand, and the Amalfi Coast of Italy – twice.  To add icing to the cake; the aforementioned trips were all work-related; in that I didn’t pay for them, nor did they take any of my own increasingly precious vacation time.

  So when it is my own time, and my own dime, I prefer to make the very most out of mine, (and everyone’s) two most limited resources. For the time and for the money, I can’t think of a better vacation than right here in California and the chance to take advantage of spectacular inter-state airfares and some really innovative and value oriented hotel packages.

       Larry King used to write what had to be the worst column even in USA Today. I believe it was called King's Things, and it was literally random thoughts that must have surfaced between his suspenders.

       There is nothing better than rye bread with caraway seeds. Nothing.

       That was a typical entry. I had hoped tonight for something more ambitious, a melancholy opus about the holiday season, but the various ideas jumbled in my head don't form one particular theme; so with apologies to Larry, here a few disjointed ideas, and as a salute to Larry, some gratuitous but well deserved plugs too.

       My trainer is moving back to New York City and I am devastated. Even since the KTLA weight-loss smack-down began I have been under the keen care of "celebrity trainer" Tracy Anderson. Click here for best trainer ever My specific trainer has some big names to take care of in the Big Apple and today was our last session. A tiny excerpt from the thank-you note I wrote to him.

       "I always appreciate and admire people who are especially good at their craft and you are absolutely the best trainer I have ever worked with."

             My three year old won't go to bed, and insists on watching this incredibly corny but fairly decent Carrie Underwood Holiday Special. The comedy bits are agony, but Carrie might well be one of the best examples of my favorite phrase 'talent tells.' She completely has it, I am sure always has, and it just took "American Idol" to find her. Speaking of which, the idea that Simon Cowell will leave 'Idol' is rubbish. He is going to parlay his position to also bring his "X-Factor" series to the U.S. . Cowell does two different series in England, and he certainly has at least two U.S. shows he can carry as well.

       We had our KTLA Entertainment Department Holiday party this afternoon at that Ultra Luxe Gold Class Cinema in Pasadena. Click here for best movie theater experience ever. To see 'Avatar' for a second time in complete luxury is a wonderful treat. Perhaps the biggest compliment about the movie is the 2 hour and 40 minute running time really races by. On the way out of the Parsons parking structure; typical Southern California dilemma, the machine to pay for your parking ticket was busted and as the line of impatient cars grew and one very well meaning but flustered attendant, I thought to myself that soon the police should come and simply open the gate, lest there is civil unrest. Three days before Christmas, best not make people wait unnecessarily to get out of a parking garage.

     I wish I could call my mother.

     The New York Times reports the #1 single for the entire decade is "Something Like That" by Tim McGraw; the song getting more airplay than any other. I am hard-pressed to even think of how that tune goes. My favorite Tim McGraw song is "When The Stars Go Blue" which was sung at my wedding.

      My three year old still won't go to bed and is now having a tea party with her Princess dolls. Apparently they all prefer the tea in the yellow cups, but I am not sure why. 

      Happy Happy, Merry Merry

       33,000 feet over Godthab, Greenland --- I am an imperfect husband. I don’t always pick up after myself, (I never pick up after myself), and I know how to feign sleep well enough that if one of the kids is screaming early on a Sunday morning, I will lie there, wait for my wife to wake up and play mother to one of our precious off-spring.

     So if I am not entirely selfless, what in the world am I doing in row 25 J; in a coach window seat sitting next to a man, who is unquestionably polite yet large and tall enough that certainly he is recently retired from the NBA; while my wife is lounging in business class in a seat that resembles a Lay-z-boy recliner. Something is wrong with this picture. Something is also wrong with the way I am trying to write this as the man in front of me just reclined his seat so significantly that the top of my laptop has just folded over on my knuckles.

     To upgrade or not to upgrade is never a question. The answer is always the same; YES, no matter the cost. In this case; 25,000 miles AND 350 dollars. But the moral dilemma of all time, the Sophie’s Choice for the jet set; what if you are traveling with your special someone and only one seat is available for an upgrade. Surely some are reading this going, ‘one for all and all for one, we both go to business class or no one goes to business class.’ Nonsense. If two people were on fire and there is only a water bucket with liquid to save one, someone should be spared. 

     There is clearly a mathematical formula to the martial favor. Sure the Davis Strait is at least an hour off; and we not get to Hudson Bay in Canada for 90 minutes or more; but once we are on terra ferma, once we are back to our regular lives; this favor, this sacrifice will be appreciated and reciprocated. Right? Or is it just part and parcel of what we husbands sign up for. The opening the car door after who knows how many years of marriage. This flight still has SEVEN hours to go, but truth be told, when we arrive safe and sound and are reunited with those precious children and resume our regular lives in Los Angeles, these cramped coach quarters will seem like a distant memory. 

     And I might well be entitled to the longest neck nub ever.

London ---  Just left the 'World Premiere' of "Avatar," and while the standing ovation the film received at its conclusion is probably just the requisite politeness; I can report that this is another rare example where the quality of the movie does indeed exceed the hype and "Avatar" will most certainly be among the 10 'Best Picture' nominees for the Oscars; and James Cameron will also be a Best Director nominee. I think it is also possible that actress Zoe Saldana, who has the most challenging of roles in the film, may rack up an additional acting nomination as well.

       The movie may owe more than a few plot points to the story of Pocahontas, and there may be some grousing at a fairly heavy-handed treatment of corporate greed and our lack of American energy independence; but the key question, is Cameron able to deliver a movie that packs the entertainment value and emotional punch of 'Titanic.'  The clear answer is 'Yes.' The Oscars will not ignore this film.

     It is the lecture that I believe I heard my father give to my older sisters when there were of an appropriate age, several times over.

      "There are three universal lies of which you must always beware," he would say. "Never trust any man who says the following;

     "I can't get you pregnant."

     "I promise to pay you back"

     and "The check is in the mail."

     I never knew he could be so wise until this week when I embarked on an experience that has been filled with frustration and upset. Imagine this, trying to withdraw money from an account that is in your name, filled with your own savings, that you actually own. Should be really easy, right?

    Even for those of us lucky enough to be working, sometimes the bills at the end of the month exceed the amount of money you have coming in. If you are doubly lucky to have had a few good years, you might have a little bit of a cushion. Part of my cushion is with Nationwide, you know, the company, that is On Your Side. 

    But maybe they are not entirely on my side after all. 

    To make a long story short, last Tuesday, October 20th; I called Nationwide to ask for a little bit of my own money. They said fine and that they would send me a check in the mail. Would it be possible I asked, and I was willing to pay the difference, to use an overnight service so I could have the check sooner than later. "No Sir, we are unable to do that, we can only send a check to you by regular U.S. mail but it should arrive within 5 business days or less," the friendly operator assured me.

    Today, August 29th; I still had no check, and I called Nationwide in Dublin, Ohio to share my upset. I was promptly called back by an extra helpful customer service agent who said she would track down my case and have an answer for me soon. A few hours later she did. "Sir, we mailed out your check on October 22nd."  Well gee, I wondered, it is a full week later, and still no check...what should I do? "Well sir, I can cancel the original check and we can arranged to overnight a new check to you that will arrive no later than next Tuesday November 3rd."

     Of course I need this check to pay bills due on November 1st, would the company possibly wire the money to me. "Certainly sir, but your bank may charge you a fee."  So wait a minute, now, now that the check is a full week late; Nationwide, now, will overnight or wire me the money. They wouldn't before, but they will now.

    You know exactly where this is heading. After asking the lady to cancel my check and overnight me a new one....guess what arrived in the mail late this afternoon.

    I have a check from Nationwide that was issued on October 21st; and mailed on October 22nd; and even with presorted first class mail; it did not arrive until today, October 29th Of course the confirmation letter about the whole transaction, which was mailed on October 26th, also arrived today.

   So, who should I hate more; Nationwide, or the U.S. Postal Service? 

   I imagine this kind of corporate run-around is nothing new. Nationwide enjoys 'the float,' the money my money makes in interest until I cash their check...and my creditors, the people I owe money to will now hear a very familiar phrase from yours truly;

  "Don't worry, the check is in the mail."

Albuquerque

    I am here for a quick trip to help my colleagues and friends at The Reelz Channel launch a new show, 'Hollywood Dailies,' (which by the way you can check out every day at 4 and 7 p.m. pacific), and like any business trip for the most part the fun and glamour have gone out of the travel experience.

   Southwest Airlines means well, and I appreciate the fact that they are relatively inexpensive and usually on time; but there is no real distinction between flying elbow to elbow with 144 other folks and taking the bus.

   Embassy Suites has one of the largest hotels in Albuquerque and everything you need to swim and exercise not to mention the 'free' breakfast which I would probably be willing to pay for if it was a little bit better. I swear it was the Sunkist Orange Juice Machine that dispensed some sort of Orange Flavored water.

   The most exceptional experience in an unexceptional trip was my arrival late Sunday night and my greeting by the entire staff at the Enterprise Rental Car Counter. I was a little sour on Enterprise earlier in the day. I called their toll-free number to reconfirm my reservation, and was told in no uncertain terms that even with my confirmation number there was no record of my reservation. It did not exist. I explained how I had rented cars in Albuquerque before, how the company rented a slew of cars there; and how there must be some mistake. The operator refused to believe it; and it was only when she put me on hold for five minutes and called her 'help' desk she determined that the Albuquerque location was not plugged into the main computer system and she didn't know if I had a reservation or not. I asked for the direct phone number for the Albuquerque office; which of course she did not have.

So while the toll-free operator was a horror...actually getting to the counter was an unexpected joy. There were three clerks and a janitor all working behind the counter and all four came out from behind the counter to shake my hand.  When was the last time that happened? I thought to myself this is the friendliest rental car counter in the world. The crew gave me a complete update on the Balloon Fiesta that is taking place in town now, and wanted to make sure I was okay with getting a better car than had been reserved for me.

The entire encounter maybe lasted less than 10 minutes, but for whatever reason, I was struck by the fact that these rental car guys actually cared. That they weren't phoning it in. This was a sincere transaction, they were truly happy to get my business. And that, in this day and age was a really pleasant surprise.

Download Sep 24 2009 - VID00038Bora-Bora

      "Out of respect for Fazion's 'unit' I chose to look the other way." 

      Over the course of my very pleasant career journey, I have interviewed far more stars than I can possibly count; for a far longer period of time than I will ever admit to; but in the course of all of those conversations I don't believe I have ever heard a remark that was simply so unusual as the phrase above spoken by actress Kristin Bell when asked about a scene in the new movie "Couples Retreat," where her co-star comic Faizon Love drops his trousers and reveals himself and his unit without the benefit of underwear.

     I am not sure what it is about a pure paradise like Bora-Bora that prompts so much discussion of below-the-belt matters. The area here is simply jaw-drop lovely. It is turquoise, is it powder-blue, it is baby-blue; whatever the correct color palate description of the water...you have never seen anything like it.

   With so much beautiful water, there are a variety of ways to experience it; which led to my second genitalia conversation here, prior to heading out on a jet-ski expedition.

   "Sam, you want to be sure that you don't completely sit down on the jet ski; you want to ride a little above the seat; otherwise it is really going to mess with your junk," was the sage advice from one of the plethora of publicists dispatched here to hold the hands of the 40 or so reporters who are covering this movie junket.

   Maybe it is just me; but prior to trying to save my junk; I would have offered several other tips about life on a jet ski; you are going to want sunglasses for certain, and maybe a small towel to wipe them down periodically. Also, even though the jet ski can go "80,"...."60" is about as fast as you need to go; and "30" in fact insures a very comfortable non junk jarring ride.

    A few other quick snapshots from Tahiti, which we are told is farther from any continental landmass than any other island chain in the world.

   Bring your own medicine. For whatever cosmic reason; there are no medicines sold at the hotels. So if you need an aspirin, advil, or basically, anything, be sure to bring it yourself. One of my Canadian colleagues has been felled by a tropical cold and is trading virtually anything just for some sudafed.

   Bring a significant bank-roll. Paradise is pricey. $1 U.S. dollar is worth 72 French Polynesian bills. Which seems like a good deal, until you discover a single drink is 1600; dinner was well over 100,000; this trip for all intense and purposes is free to the press and I will have spent hundreds of dollars just on incidentals.

   All connections with what we consider normal civilization don't really work here. The internet is somewhat spotty; the TV is all in French; and nether my phone or blackberry worked at all. As it turns out; these are HUGE positives and may well facilitate other life lessons.

   Don't come alone. In the original invitation to this junket; the studio made it very clear that extra guests were not welcome. I never should have listened. This is a top honeymoon destination; and it is a crime to be sitting in one of these amazing over-the-water huts; and not be sharing it with your significant other. 

  All told, with the incredible water right in front of me; and my unit/junk/package in tact, there is little to complain about. With economic conditions such as they are, a trip like this is increasingly out of the reach of many; but one thing about the movie, is that Bora-Bora is really one of the co-stars of the film; so while few will make the actual trip; I think many will get a chance to at the very least see in a movie theater what we junketeers have been experiencing and enjoying so much in person.