My Father, My Sunglasses
7:07 PM June 21, 2009
Wailea Beach, Maui --- It's Father's Day among the celebrated here at the Maui Film Festival. First the quick name drops; Eddie Murphy with the single biggest posse ever; Mr. and Mrs. Tori Spelling with the babies and the nannies; Brad Garrett with his kids; Anna Faris, (who many say got married here this weekend), with her man and her parents. And that's just everyone I saw on my walk from a lounge chair at the Four Seasons to the elevator in the lobby.
If you have ever been to this part of the world; and over the years I have seen more friends and neighbors from Los Angeles at the Grand Wailea that I ever see in Los Angeles on any given day; you know that Wailea has a wonderful and lengthy walking path that connects all the various hotels and beaches. I think the whole thing is probably 2 or 3 miles round trip.
Taking that stroll once or twice a day is my greatest luxury here, and today of course it gave me time to think. To think about my father.
Dr. Theodore Rubin, Ted to friends and family, passed away about five years ago. People probably tend to see those who have passed away through rose-colored glasses. I think I can still see my dad fairly clearly; and what I see most clearly were certain qualities that he possessed in abundance, that I probably struggle with far more than he ever did.
My dad was 100% ethical. 100% responsible. 100% practical, and 100% fair. It is appropriate that I use percentages here, because he was a mathematician and worked for decades in Southern California as an engineer in the aerospace program.
My 8 year old daughter Rory always asks me to explain again and again what "Opa" did for his job. I tell her the two same stories. I went to work with my dad to his office in El Segundo only once. I am not sure if it was when he worked for TRW, or McDonnell Douglas, or Aerospace. Engineers at that time moved around a lot. Going to his office was like the opening sequence in the old 'Get Smart' television series. One security door after another, lots of badges being flashed and electric doors that made a big 'whoosh' sound when they opened up for you.
"But what did he do?" she always asks. I tell her that one of his biggest projects was making sure that two American submarines could talk to each other and that no one else could hear the conversation. When I hear her repeat the story to her friends, it always makes me laugh, because she will embellish it with extra details, like he invented a secret code that turned English into a language no one else in the whole world could understand.
Come to think of it, she may have been right.
I have been thinking about his various 100% qualities when I came upon a pseudo-temptation of sorts on this trip. As I believe I detailed on the show once; I lost my expensive pair of Maui Jim sunglasses at the Kodak theater over a year ago. I am in mourning for those shades; and I am current sporting a pair of Mobile Stations special; I bought during a recent fill-up for $13 dollars.
Well, in Maui, wouldn't you know, there is a guy with a very large stand on this beautiful walking path selling Maui Jim sunglasses, including my the exact same style as elusive lost pair. They are $259 dollars.
My dad, rest his soul, would never pay $259 for a pair of sunglasses. I doubt if he ever paid $259 for a suit or much of anything else. But his practical side has had it's benefits. He sent three kids to college, and my mother; who has also worked most of her adult life; enjoys a very comfortable retirement, thanks in large part to his good planning, and not buying $259 sunglasses.
Normally, I would absolutely buy the sunglasses; put it on a charge card; and figure out how to pay the bill sometime later down the road. It's obviously time for me, and for many, to change that kind of behavior. Behavior my father, for all his kindnesses and quirks, never had to contend with.
I love being a dad; and I hope I can pass along a few learn-by-example lessons to my kids.
Thanks Dad, for sending a few lessons along to me.
Posted by Sam Rubin | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)
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Sam, you did right! There was a big smile on your father's face. Life is teaching us some wonderful lessons. Lessons that will help us for the rest of our lives. You never know what life has in store for us. You displayed a lesson learned from your father and that your maturation process is outstanding.
Posted by: Carolyn | 07/23/2009 at 03:40 PM
Sam you got the business card...call, email and have them sent to you as a Christmas present from the kids!!!!
Posted by: C | 06/29/2009 at 09:32 AM
Paul & -mike: LOL
angeles: You make a good point. Enjoy today because tomorrow is promised to no one.
Posted by: jozielee | 06/23/2009 at 11:07 PM
Mike, that is funny.
Posted by: Paul | 06/23/2009 at 04:54 PM
I just had to laugh... over in the ad section (look to the right of this blog - if its still there) is an ad for sunglass warehouse with the phrase "Nothing here over $20" Talk about direct advertising... Sam you could save yourself a couple benjamins!
-m
Posted by: mike | 06/23/2009 at 04:36 PM
Angeles wrote:
"The thing is that he never enjoy anything because he only want to have more money, but when he die he had nothing even his grandson that took his money had not be at his funeral."
There is a difference between being a miser and being thrifty. Especially in these troubled times. Spending $250 on a night out with the family is fine, but $250 on a pair of sunglasses is foolish and selfish in my book.
Posted by: Paul | 06/23/2009 at 02:46 PM
My husband great great grandpa,died in 2000, he was 100 years old and all the family know about how he keep his money in a bench at his footbed. Yes he did that and if you think was paper bill think twice, was golden coins and if you think for that that he lived in a great mansion, then you are wrong. He used to live in a little house with only his bed a little table and a radio. He had 3 daughters and 2 sons, all of them did not go to any kind of school not even elementary, but he was rich, very very rich. One day one of his grandsons almost kill him and just for to keep away his money. He took all his money, and since he never know how to expent his money, he saw how his grandson did it. The thing is that he never enjoy anything because he only want to have more money, but when he die he had nothing even his grandson that took his money had not be at his funeral. I think about that when I read some comments and I want to say that if we really want something even if this is expensive we can got it and enjoy it because we will be sorry all the time for not do it. His other grandchildren and grand grand children found how to got their degrees, I have 3 kids, one has an Administration degree, other is a Computer Analist and the other is a Dental technician, and if you think we are rich, then you are right, we are rich not because we have a lot of money, but because we work hard and give them what is best for them and got every now an then things that we enjoy and we are happy just to see they are happy too so, Sam just enjoy your sunglasses
Posted by: angeles napoles | 06/23/2009 at 02:24 PM
Jozie wrote:
"Potentially illegal advice"? How can my suggestion be illegal. If Sam's willing to pay $250 for a pair of sunglasses I don't find that in anyway illegal."
Maybe not illegal, but foolish. Why spend $250 a pair when a $15 pair does the same job? C'mon Jozie, how would you feel if you lost a pair of $250 sunglasses compaired to a $15 pair? And who's going to know you spend $250 on a pair of sunglasses anyway? Would you do a Minnie Pearl and leave the price tag hanging on them? LOL
Posted by: Paul | 06/23/2009 at 01:00 PM
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Posted by: nikica | 06/23/2009 at 08:36 AM
FORREST: "SAM won't be doing (h)is father any honor by following your selfish and potentially illegal advice."
"Selfish" ok, that's fair.
"Potentially illegal advice"? How can my suggestion be illegal. If Sam's willing to pay $250 for a pair of sunglasses I don't find that in anyway illegal.
Admittedly, I can think of a lot of ways to spend $250 that would give me infinitely more pleasure than a simple pair of sunglasses, but this is about Sam, not me.
Geez, has anyone got a mango . . . suddenly I've got a taste for mango . . . or better yet a Diamond saloon pilot cracker and mango mai tai for breakfast. YUM!
Posted by: jozielee | 06/23/2009 at 07:42 AM
To be happy buying overpriced nonsense? Jozelee I thought you were smarter then that. Waste not want not .... remember that ..... most old adages are as true today as when they were brought into existence. I know know that the waste of my retirement funds (making myself happy) Has caused me greater sorrow. LOOK AHEAD PLAN FOR OUR FUTURE. It was easy for years to squander our resources and damage our environment making ourselves happy in the short run ...... but look at the mess we are all in now. Oh and DAN DO YOU REALLY WANT TO PAY FOR SAM"S GLASSES? Do you promote unethical behavior? WIN/WIN for who SAM? SAM won't be doing is father any honor by following your selfish and potentially illegal advice.
Posted by: Forrest | 06/22/2009 at 09:54 PM
Jozie wrote:
"But, if a $250 pair of sunglasses will make you happy"
They may make Sam happy, but not me. The thought of losing them would make me crazy.
Posted by: Paul | 06/22/2009 at 05:05 PM
Nice tribute to your dad, Sam, but you know what? If paying $250 for a pair of sunglasses prevent any of your children from going to college, don't buy the sunglasses. But, if a $250 pair of sunglasses will make you happy, buy the glasses. Do attach a tracker that beeps if the glasses get lost. Do have your name and phone number engraved in the frames. And do invest in replacement insurance. "Good luck, Mr. Phelps."
Posted by: jozielee | 06/22/2009 at 01:47 PM
Sam wrote:
"My dad, rest his soul, would never pay $259 for a pair of sunglasses. I doubt if he ever paid $259 for a suit or much of anything else."
I with your dad, I would never pay $259 for a pair of sunglasses. The ones I have I pay $10 for, and that was for two pair from a guy at a roadside stand. Your dad would be proud of you Sam for learning that lesson at this stage in your life. I know I'm a better person from the lessons I learned from my dad.
And really, do you think the $259 pair work better than the ones you paid $15 for? Both were probability made at the same factory in China and cost $1 to make if that.
Posted by: Paul | 06/22/2009 at 03:56 AM
OMG! I meant WEAR not where in a junket....good grief!
Posted by: Dan | 06/21/2009 at 07:34 PM
Sam,
Why can't you buy the sunglasses, where them in a junket or in a photo op, and then you can claim them on your Income Taxes?
Problem solved. You've bought yourself a "Father's Day Gift" and you can end up claiming them at the end of the year!
Win/Win if you ask me!
Posted by: Dan | 06/21/2009 at 07:30 PM